Column 8

Pasquale Vartuli of Wahroonga writes: “During many admission ceremonies in the Banco Court, an embarrassed mother in the process of escorting her vocally fractious child from the packed public gallery, would be halted, mid-step by the presiding judge, Sir Laurence Street, gently calling to her: ‘Madam, there is no need to leave. This is a family occasion and you are most welcome to stay.’ With those charming and soothing words, the bar table would erupt with polite laughter, which would spill over into the gallery, thereby embracing the mother, whose embarrassment would disappear along with her child’s fractiousness. Smiles all round, and the solemn ceremony would continue in the best of atmospheres. Vale Sir Laurence.”

Following a prompt explanation of Nudown Plumben & Billden (C8), both Luke Connery of
Manly Vale and Viviane King of Sydney (a former St Petersite) were quick to point out that not far away we also have Speeders Lorndry. 

Now for some acclaim for one of our own. Christine Haines of Baulkham Hills writes: “I saw that Allan Gibson of Cherrybrook had a humorous letter published in the Traveller section on Saturday. What talented contributors we have in Column 8.”

The man himself has piped up in light of recent references to the various religious titles, stemming from tales of Abbot Abbott and Canon Ball. Allan says: “While on matters ecclesiastical, on Sunday morning a car entered the car park of the Uniting Church at Castle Hill bearing the alpha prefix number plate ‘JC’, which immediately reminded of a previous minister who had a number plate commencing with the letters ‘SIN’. When he left the property it was a case of driving sin out of the church.” That’s enough Allan, for now. We don’t want him lording it over us.

We’ve fielded many a missive regarding Americanisation, but this one caught us flush. According to Timothy Sparks of Cudal, “the new dunnies at Lithgow opposite the cemetery greet you with a male American accent. This is most inappropriate in my humble opinion.”

A question from 40,000 feet from Richard Kemp of Maroubra. “Australia was the first country to ban smoking on internal flights over 30 years ago, and by the mid-1990s, virtually all airlines had outlawed on-board smoking. Development of the Airbus A380 started in 2001, with Qantas taking delivery of its first in 2008. So why is there an ashtray on the toilet door of every Qantas A380?”

Column8@smh.com.au

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